Note to a puppy:
Sure, you’re cute, with your sweet puppy breath and your little puppy teeth and your cute puppy wrinkles and your soft puppy fur and your floppy puppy ears. Sure, you lure me in with all of those things and then the next thing you know, you’re peeing on my carpet and chewing my couch.
Oh, I’m wise to your ways, Puppy. And I was able to resist your charms in the store. I held you in my arms and rocked you to sleep and then said, “NO! No puppy! It’s too cold for potty training now. Too much work to put everything up out of its reach! Too stressful to worry about having to come home and let him out every few hours.”
And I was fine with that decision in the store. Perfectly, utterly fine.
Only now? Now, I’m thinking about driving back to that store and getting you and bringing you home! Damn you, Puppy! Damn you and your irresistable sweetness!