Normally, this day of the week is known as Thankful Thursday around these parts. By these parts, I obviously mean my house. It’s a day to think about all the good things in my life. It’s a great way to combat all the negative things that may be going on in the world.
But today, I thought I would make it Throwback Thursday instead. But that comes with a warning-Prepare yourselves. No, seriously. I don’t say that lightly. Strap yourselves in, lock the doors, gird your loins, dial the 9, the 1 and then sit with your finger ready to dial the last 1. If you have some kind of anti-anxiety meds, now would be a good time to take them. It’s a throwback to an ugly time-literally. (And just as an aside, the next person who says “literally” in the wrong context is going to make me slap them-literally. “The movie was so scary that I literally died of fright.” Um, no, no you didn’t. If you had, we wouldn’t be having this conversation because you WOULD BE DEAD! Literally.) But this is ugly, for reals!
Are you ready? Helmet on? Goggles secured?
Ok. Here it is-
That, ladies and gentlemen, is my Weight Watchers “before” picture. I told you it wasn’t pretty. I could and I have (right up above there, for instance) gone on and on about how much I dislike this picture. I could use the excuse that it was right after I had my younger son, but let’s just say that I wore maternity clothes for quite a while after I had him.
There was a time when the idea of posting this picture anywhere, let alone putting it up online, would have sent me into spasms of embarrassment so severe that I would have ended up curled into a ball in the corner, probably stuffing my face with cookies. It reminded me of how unhappy I was with myself and the way I looked. It reminded me of how much I thought my life would be perfect if only I was thinner.
Now though, when I look at that picture, all I remember is how incredibly happy I was to have one healthy son and to be bringing home my second healthy son. Now I see that it doesn’t matter what size I am (although, really, that hair!), my life is pretty damn great. And it’s because of the wonderful folks in my life. The people who don’t care one whit what size I am, who love me no matter what. When I look at that picture now, I know that what I want is not necessarily to be thin (although vanity is always a factor, isn’t it?), but to be healthy because I want to be around to see what other amazing things will happen in this life I share with those I love and who love me.
I guess this has turned into Thankful Thursday after all.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, that little boy sitting next to me is my oldest, Sam. He looks sad because he was afraid I would crush him. Oh, no, that’s not it! He was feeling a little sad because he was certain he was getting a baby sister and instead, he got stuck with a brother. A fact that he has never let me forget!
Happy Thankful Throwback Thursday, everyone!